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parents sharing their childs progress
I read an article recently about parents who discuss their child's progress on social media. In particular the progress of a child with a difference, such as autism and Aspergers. As I read down the comments I saw many from those who firmly believe that it is against the child's rights to do so. Disrespectful was a word used quite a lot, selfish and bad parenting! feeding the needs purely of the parent and not of the child. As I myself, do write blogs and articles based on my own experiences with autism and my son I found this a bit of a slap in the face. Support groups are offered and have been all across towns and communities. This is something that can be offered out as a healthy and helpful solution to feelings of isolation and fears regarding a new life situation such as an autism diagnosis. is this deemed as bad parenting too? Parents have a role to play that is constantly juggling the moral codes of boundaries to protect their child first but to also receive support and a shoulder and ear to lean on. When setting up this website and blog I too had these thoughts whizzing around my mind and heart. Am I dishonouring my son by setting all this up? Talking about his autism however positively I do, am I still disrespecting him? asking his permission is a difficulty due to his autism and lack of speech and awareness of what it is I am offering others. Even though I have spoken to him about my website, showing him it on the lap top, he doesn't show much interest in an obvious way. Yet, he does acknowledge what I am doing with dazlious and the workshops I offer. I know it, I feel it intuitively. This is one of the ways in which we communicate.
I also know and trust that if he was unhappy about it he would let me know somehow. He does with everything else I do. I feel that people's judgements on how we parent, seek advice and support for our individual circumstances is an unfair judgement. Becoming a parent does not suddenly make you super human, knowing answers to new situations with ease. Far from it, the truth is we all do our best to do the 'right thing.' For the most part many of us can ask our friends, neighbours and work colleagues on advice as to why a child will wet themselves or how do I stop them from getting up 5 times a night, the endless list of worries and questions that come with parenting. When you share your life with a child who has additional, different needs to others, suddenly the usual support you would have access to from friends and close colleagues gets a lot smaller. You find yourself in the minority of your circle of friends experiences. Are we then to just get on with it on our own, continue to struggle through. More so, not share the break through and wondrous moments of connection and achievements of our children just because we are a minority within our circle of friends? I honour my son and celebrate him as a human being. I feel passionately about how we connect with him and learn from him everyday. I will share this with anyone who wishes to share with me. I share with other parents who too have a child who is non verbal and autistic, we support each other through the difficult and celebratory times. Without the many forums and emails, websites and skype sessions I have personally been a part of I am certain I would have gone nuts. At least for a while. Being respectful is of course paramount to anyone, especially your own child. I trust that I am mindful of this with my son Jeorge. I do not post images of him across the website but I do speak of him and about how I parent him. I share others stories in our situation as well as those with autism. I pass this knowledge on through my website. I see it as a funnel of information, to sieve through. am proud of my website and all its content. The work I offer and insights into our autism and how we embrace and live with it is something to share with the thousands of others who live with autism. We are all still learning about this unique and complex way of being a human. The more we share and explore without judgement and fear the better parents and carers we become. I will never stop unless Jeorge indicates to me I am no longer on the right path. I give thanks to all the parents who blog, Facebook and tweet about their personal lives and their child's, without them I would have been completely alone and what good would that do me as parent?
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